Satan: So you were out on a walk, which you undertook in an effort to stave off weight gain, and instead of walking to 30th as you'd intended, which in itself was less than you'd originally planned to do, you stopped short because your boxer shorts were in a twitch, one ear bud didn't work, you had a Katy Perry song stuck in your head, and you suddenly found that you were so hungry you were jittery.

Tom: Yeah, so?

Satan: Then you went to the liquor store and bought beer and booze. Instead of getting food. Or at the very least food and a bit of drink.

Tom: Well? I did what I did. And I tell you this, you horned fuck: After drinking two 7% beers on an empty stomach, I feel... better.

Satan: Yeah but is this how you really planned to start this blog up again? After such a hiatus?

Tom: Dude.

Satan: What?

Tom: You like, missed me, didn't you?

Satan: Shut the fuck up.

Tom: Ha-ha, you little bitch.

Satan: I'm going to align dark forces tomorrow such that you suffer an excruciating paper cut. To the balls.

Tom: God I'm almost interested to see how it happens.

Satan: Keep giggling, assface.