Dividends of The Big Payoff

It's not that looking for jobs is the worst thing. It's wanting to stand up in the middle of the interview and shout, "Yes, yes, oh god YES I'm one of THEM! I'm an ECCENTRIC! One of those which all your carefully prepared, snappy little forms and legal agreements and drug tests are supposed to weed out! God damn it, couldn't you have done us both a favor and tried a little harder? I mean, for chrissakes I'm stoned RIGHT NOW! As soon as I leave here I'm going to go home and smoke more and read some Charles Bukowski! I'll probably be listening to Satie when I do it. After I'm done there I'll probably masturbate a few times in glorious stoned ecstasy and then pass out, sticky cock still in hand. Fuck that, I KNOW I will! And you know what? FUCK YOU TOO! WHAT?!? Oh yes... yes of course I'll submit to a voluntary urine analysis. Be happy to."

P.S.- You hear the shit coming out of those speakers overhead? You know what that is? No? I didn't think so... it's VIVALDI you motherfucker, and why are you listening to it?

Even with this attitude, it took me two days to find a job. I'm INVINCIBLE.