Tom: I have to get out of his country.

Satan: Why?

Tom: My tax money is being used to wage war in Iraq.

Satan: I see.

Tom: Yeah. If I leave the country, then none of the money I earn will buy bombs or bullets that kill Iraqi civilians.

Satan: Congratulations.

Tom: Complacent fuck.

Satan: Oh am I?

Tom: Well, um, I don't know. That's kind of why I brought the whole thing up. Am I being melodramatic? Is there something I'm missing?

Satan: What do you want from me? I'm the Lord of the Underworld. I thrive on this shit. I love death and destruction and charred corpses. I love seeing dead children. Chaos becomes me.

Tom: Well, I don't like it. I want people to be as happy as possible. I can't kid myself any longer. I'm sure every country has something shameful to hide, but my god, it's got to be less than what the American government perpetuates.

Satan: Well, what's the solution?

Tom: Ask countries to establish "aggression free zones"- designate areas that will donate no tax money to funding any military endeavors- recruitment, munitions, any kind of war contracting. How much would you bet that these areas are the safest in any country from terrorism? And maybe countries can use this in a big game of weapons non-proliferation.

Satan: No I mean what's your short-term solution?

Tom: I'm going to go to a country that doesn't contribute to the Iraq war.

Satan: As far as you know.

Tom: That's right fuckface.