Tom: Hi.

Satan: Hello.

Tom: I've been away a while.

Satan: Yeah.

Tom: I'd like to think you've been missing me.

Satan: Sure. What do you want?

Tom: I've been kinda apprehensive the past few days.

Satan: Having second thoughts about dropping everything and moving to Austin, eh?

Tom: Well, no. I think I'm at a place I always get to when I really want someone. I feel helpless and childish and bitchy.

Satan: Sounds like it's really hard for you to give yourself to someone. Don't do it if you're not sure.

Tom: I'm sure I want to do this. Can't I worry about it too?

Satan: What do you worry about? Don't you think Tiffany loves you?

Tom: I think Tiffany loves me. But I listen to a lot of classical music. Is that gonna be okay? Jesus Christ, why do I get like this?

Satan: Get like what?

Tom: I JUST TOLD YOU, FUCKER.

Satan: Ah.

Tom: WHAT?

Satan: I said, "Ah," as in, "I see."

Tom: Goddammit you better fucking tell me RIGHT NOW...

Satan: Can't do it. That's the point. I can't tell you, so I'm not going to. You'll find out on your own. Don't worry too much, okay?

Tom: You simple, smug, motherfucking bastard. I'll cut you motherfucker, I'LL FUCKING BURN YOU!

Satan: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!

Tom: I hate you.