Why I Despise All Forms of Government

Dear Governor Davis,

I'm sure you often receive letters from young citizens and students, like myself, telling you how great you are for being a horrible governor, or how horrible you are for revoking their right to get drunk on a public beach. However, that is not the aim of my letter. I'm writing to give you just a bit of insight into how "the other half" truly lives.

Let me begin by sharing with you a tale of less than moderate excitement. One day, I was driving to my friend's house, ready to enjoy an exciting evening of philosophical debauchery, when I was pulled over for not being old and white (damn! one out of two ain't bad, I suppose). The officer, after insisting that I was drunk, explained to me that the reason he had pulled me over was because one of my headlights was not functioning properly. This was news to me, but I obligingly signed the ticket that he shoved in my face. He explained that he had given me plenty of time to take care of the problem, and that if I got pulled over again (for not being old and white) that I need only show my happy little ticket to the hypothetical officer, and he/she would let me go (after accusing me of being drunk). What a nice guy. Needless to say, I continued on to my friend's house and had a good time despite the new friend in my wallet.

The next day I purchased a new headlight and replaced it with no problems. Then, I completely forgot about my citation.

Days turned into weeks, weeks into more than weeks, and finally the deadline to "post bail" had lapsed. Of course I did not realize this because I had forgotten about the ticket.

Today I received a letter in the mail from the Superior Court of San Diego stating that I was a criminal and that my "account" had been sent to a collection agency for…collection. The next letter I opened was a notice from a collection agency stating that I was a criminal and that I "owed" them $334. This, Mr. Governor, is where my complaint begins.

I will be the first to admit that I made a mistake. I succumbed to a horrible disease capable of attacking any human being on this planet: I forgot. I accept that. And because I forgot, I'm even willing to pay a little extra for my "bail" as punishment for my forgetfulness. However, I cannot seem to justify being forced to pay $334. Based on my own calculations, I have been charged approximately 26.35% interest (compounded daily) on a $10 ticket for fifteen days. The court calls this a "civil assessment." I call it usury. I believe that I have been the victim of a crime that this same court system has sentenced thousands of people to prison for, yet the court appears to practice the same crime with impunity.

You, Mr. Governor, may be one of the majority of people who would argue that, because I signed the ticket, I am responsible to pay my fine and accept any "civil assessment," charged to me by the California legal system, no matter how exorbitant the assessment may be. I would remind you, Mr. Governor, and the rest of the majority, that I did not sign the ticket because I agreed to pay outrageous fines; I signed the ticket because a large man with a gun told me to.

That being said, I feel I must let you know that the point of this letter is not to whine, to threaten, or to ask for some sort of pardon. No, this letter was drafted to express the opinion of many people who have experienced the same atrocious behavior that I have. If you do truly care about the people you claim to govern, then I would suggest that you do something about this situation and the multitude of others like it.

In closing, I would like to congratulate you Governor Davis. The machine, which you call the state of California, has once again succeeded in demoralizing and dehumanizing a productive and intelligent member of its own society. As I am now a "happy," check-mailing slave, any response to this letter may be sent to me via my true identity: [my SS#].

Thank you for your time.