Satan: Hello Tom.

Tom: Hello Satan.

Satan: Tom, you don't intend to use me on this page as some sort of twisted extension of your superego, do you?

Tom: What do you mean?

Satan: I mean are you going to use this page to think out loud, all the while pretending I'm someone else telling you what you already know you should do but never will?

Tom: Um, yeah.

Satan: And you know that I'm just a variation of Melinda Mattos' "Careful Observer"?

Tom: What?

Satan: Melinda Mattos had a blog called "Reality Sandwiches" and on it she would occasionally have conversations with herself under the guise of the "Careful Observer". You thought she was pretty cute for a geek-goth chick and you even managed to get her to respond to a few of your emails but then you gave up because she wouldn't answer any of your questions unless they were about blogging. In fact, I'll bet you'd still like to squish your upstretched cock in between her soft, warm Canadian titties.

Tom: So?

Satan: My cock is bigger than yours.

Tom: Fuck you.