Tom: I'm hiding out next weekend.

Satan: Why?

Tom: Because of the pride parade.

Satan: What's wrong with having a gay pride parade?

Tom: I'm not gay. I'm suspicious of any kind of "pride". And I fuckin hate parades.

Satan: So what are you going to do instead?

Tom: Close the shutters, drink beer, smoke, contemplate, play video games, write, clean, play with the cats, and talk on the phone.

Satan: That's so boring I'm speechless.

Tom: No it's not and you know it.