One for Kevin and La Muriel

Who, I am told, occasionally read this blog. I haven't written anything in over a month. A few minutes ago I was listening to "Enchantment" by Horace Silver and it made me feel okay about everything.

Three years ago I accidently set fire to my bedroom. The last thing I remember was dozing off to "Enchantment" by Horace Silver. I lost that CD and two hundred others, in addition to most of my clothes, recording equipment, and peace of mind.

Yesterday I thought of two interesting things:

1) Humans may be the dumbest beings on the planet. I reiterated this hypothesis to Ray and he reminded me of a quote from "The Matrix" wherein one of the computer programmed "agents" compares the human race to a virus. I was definitely thinking along those lines but I feel it is pertinent to note that I do not hesitate to include myself as a member of the human race. I contribute to the squalor. I accelerate the decay...and I look back on certain things I used to say and believe and they make me feel dumb. Very dumb. And I suspect that I'm going to feel that way for the rest of my life, being embarassed of everything I did 5 years ago. This is precisely why I've attempted to train myself to talk less and less as I get older- that way I'll have less to regret as I age. I will simply exist in quiet, constant, splendid fear.


2) Information does not double. Information does not increase. It does not decrease. Information exists.

Other interesting developments summed up for posterity:

a) Kelly and I are still together. I am still happy to be with her. We have been together for over four months now- my 3rd longest relationship (I know I'm eventually going to feel dumb for having such pathetically brief relationships, I just can't tell you why- not yet at least). She took a brief vacation to visit her relatives in New Jersey and I picked her up from the airport. The fear of rejection still occupies a large portion of my thought processes.

b) I ran into my last girlfriend, Annavelle, while Kelly was away. The last time we had contact was some months ago via email and it didn't go well. On Halloween she walked into the backyard where I was sitting. I said in surprise, "Whoa, it's Ann." She continued walking and left the party soon afterwards.

c) I now have two part-time jobs in addition to 18 units of school. During the week I do odd jobs around a cardboard box making factory. Most of the guys that work there are Mexicans who don't speak very much English. Most of the guys who run the place are Americans who don't speak very much Spanish. I am a disgruntled American who speaks enough Spanish to get by, thus far. The other job is housecleaning at a shelter for homeless cats. It's owned and operated by a woman named Johanna, who speaks French. My French is getting better all the time.

d)I'm starting to get sick because I have no time to relax.