Tom: I noticed you haven't posted anything yet.

Satan: I'm warming up.

Tom: Don't you have anything to say?

Satan: Sure.

Tom: Tell me something.

Satan: Well, I was thinking about what it will be like on the day they legalize marijuana in the United States.

Tom: Fuckin' A!

Satan: Pot smokers the world over will gather to celebrate in every setting imaginable. Downtown cafes will spread their tables out into the streets in anticipation, a cross between a European festival and New Year's Eve 1999. Patrons will begin packing their bowls at around 11:30 p.m. while completely unnecessary patrolling police officers will make half-hearted attempts to hassle them. Despite their actions the police officers will not ruin the feeling of calm celebration in the air and some of them may even participate in the festivities.

At the inevitable stroke of midnight there will be the sound of millions of people inhaling as one. Los Angeles news stations will begin telecasting nonsensical live interviews with smokers in New York who have already been high for three hours. Pizza deliveries and Mexican fast food restaurants will experience an unprecented upward spike in revenues for the evening, as will Trojan, Durex, and other condom manufacturers as couples unite and for the first time legally experience the bliss of love-making while stoned out of their minds.

Life will eventually go on much as it had before, only with a little less crime, a little less anguish, and a little more sense.

Tom: I, um...gotta go.

Satan: Rest easy my son.